The Belated Blog: From the Dormant Desk of one Withered Writer.

I have not blogged in over a week. It's not that I don't care to blog, or that I have nothing about which I would like or need to blog. No. I have often referred to my life as an episode of the popular Canadian teen-drama called Degrassi. In said show, with every episode someone has either had an abortion, contracted syphilis or has laid themselves in front of a tractor out of protest and met a sticky end. As I said, my life follows such patterns. You may be thinking, "why do you associate yourself with such people as they seem to inflict such turmoil upon your otherwise perfect life?" I'll have you know that first and foremost, I do not consider myself to have such an exemplary life. If I did, rest assured, I would not have a blog. Nobody wants to read about the perfect life in which I wake up to Handel's water music and birds fluttering around my head and proceed to go to school in my steam-pressed plaid skirt and knee-socks, a healthy lunch made by my mother in an unwrinkled brown sac in hand and all of my teachers are chip-chipper and my friends are all bright eyed and rosy cheeked, because that would be a nightmare. Not to mention a huge lie. Secondly, it's not that I choose to surround myself with such people. Rather, I tend to surround myself with people, instead of dooming myself to a life as a social leper. Everybody has their quirks, (yes, that means you) and I, personally like them. They tend to keep life interesting. Where would I be without my crazy friends and their equally crazy families? I'll tell you. I'd be hopelessly lost. Many of the crazy people I encounter on a day to day aren't even my friends. I am guilty of sitting in a coffee shop just to watch the customers in their natural habitats. I sometimes go so far as to fabricate scenarios that I assume to be their lives. For example, just the other day, I was sitting outside of a local coffee shop called, The Roasterie with my friend Kirby. (Mind you, Kirby does not share the same passion of people as myself so naturally she was just sitting there with her iced mocha, absorbed in the newspaper.) An aged man walks by wearing a gray pristinely tailored suit, a pink tie and brown leather loafers. Oh, he also had an alligator skin briefcase and placed so delicately atop his head was a black toupée. 45. Lawyer. Three kids and a dog named Scout. That sort of thing. You understand.

What one could call my obsession with people has led me to attempt to pursue a career as a psychologist.  I used to want to be a sex therapist. But that is a bit of hasty thinking as I've not yet experienced the "magic" of sexual intercourse. Anyway, maybe later in my career I will see patients who have reached their golden years and attempt to help them rediscover their libido. But, for starters, I'd like to be that "shrink" with the cool office and leather chaise where you come and spend an hour talking your heart out. I find that people love to talk and I love to listen. Another thing people don't realize, is that they often say far more than they intend without saying anything at all. I feel like psychology would be the best job for me and for the life I'd like to have. Psychology will allow me to have flexible enough hours to where if my child chops off his or her finger, I can be in the ER in a heartbeat, holding their disfigured hand. Morbid, you say? Yes. But that's what kids do. They chop off appendages. On a more realistic note, let's say my darling son and or daughter has a game or school play for which my attendance would be much appreciated, I would love to be able to be there. Perhaps this is because I have never felt the pleasure of having a parent support me an my functions, as they both have demanding jobs. Sad yes, but if I can manipulate my disappointment  into something beautiful for the sake of my children, so be it. This career will also give me room to pursue my other passion. Writing. I love to write and I have recently unearthed a secret desire to write and perhaps illustrate children's books. As my dear boyfriend once said, "[I'll] be a regular Patricia Polacco." She was truly one of the greats. Though, I would rather be more of a Roald Dahl. It was books like Matilda and James and the Giant Peach that saw me through my woeful days. Though Lemony Snicket and J.K. Rowling were also among my childhood favorites, it is not my desire to write on such a grand scale.

So, there you have it. My life, and plans in a nutshell. Make of it what you will.