Under Pressure.

The title of this post is reminiscent of the oh so popular song by Queen.

Pressure, pushing down on me. Pressing down on you. No man ask for. 

That's basically how my life is going right now. I've never been under quite so much pressure. As if being a senior and running a school weren't a challenge in itself, I now bear the weight that comes along with the responsibility of being a licensed driver. Following the rules of the road, watching out for other people, in addition to minding my own ass. My mom wants me to get a job so I can pay for my gas. She wants me to go to the grocery for her. She wants me to take my brother here. And there. Oh and there too.

That burns a building down. Splits  a family in two. Puts people on streets.

Soon I will have to pack all of my things including that license, buy gas, and drive myself away from my home and to college. I have yet to pick a college. And a major. And a career. And a life to call my own. This past Saturday, it dawned on me that my days are numbered. No, no, I'm not planning on dying soon, but my days of lazy Saturdays and procrastination are most definitely numbered. So few in fact, I'm afraid I can count them. My mom wants me to spend my Saturdays planning my future. She doesn't understand my need to savor every Saturday. Planning can wait until Sunday.

It's the terror of knowing what this world is about. Watching some good friends screaming "let me out".


School, with whom I was once so happily acquainted, has transformed an untamable monster. My classes aren't hard. It's just hard for me to actually do the work. I'm sick of busy work and have a bad case of senior-itis, doused with my predisposition to act like a diva. Last week was the worst it has ever been.  Also, the worst it will ever be. I realized half-way before too late that in order to get a job, or go to college and grow up and concern myself with planning and bills and panty-hoes, or any of the ridiculous things society or my mother wants me to do, I have to (somewhat) focus now. That's what pressure will do to you. It will take your childish fantasies, slap you in the face with them and cast them into the fire.

Pray tomorrow gets me higher. Pressure on people. People on streets.

Pressure is like the mafia. They give you an ultimatum, a death threat, and a dead line. Unfortunately for pressure, I am stubborn and refuse bow to its wishes. Examples? Sure. Last week, my friends and I went to a dinosaur themed restaurant to celebrate their 18th birthdays, played the La Marseillaise on the kazoo and continued to watch movies from our past (ie, My Neighbor Totoro, Veggie Tales...). So, pressure can pry youth from my cold, dead, decrepit fingers.

Um ba ba be. Um ba ba be. De day da. Ee day da- That's okay.